How do I Start the Process of Getting Divorced?
If you’re thinking about getting divorced in North Carolina, it’s a good idea to speak with a Family Law Attorney before you do anything.
It can get really complicated, really fast, especially if the marital estate is substantial or when children are involved and custody may become an issue.
Divorce laws are often deceptively complex and subject to somewhat unique public policy considerations that have been established by our courts and the General Assembly.
A lot of people may Google ‘Simple Divorce,’ not understanding there are truly few things as complicated as separation and divorce. For example, in North Carolina, a 1-year period of legal separation is normally required before a divorce can be granted.
That’s different than many other states and may run contrary to what you thought possible. You might find it to be a long, arduous process. That’s normal.
“Clearly, even when everyone is proceeding amicably, it can be difficult to discern the most appropriate manner in which to proceed. There are a LOT of moving parts to consider.”
– Bill Powers, Divorce Lawyer
We believe the first step should include an honest assessment of your current marital relationship. Put simply, do you really want to get divorced? Can you afford to do so?
Have you considered the consequences of separation? Do you know the costs associated with getting divorced?
Has your relationship devolved to such an extent that there is no point trying to work things out? Have you considered professional marital counseling? Has there been marital unfaithfulness or domestic violence?
Family Lawyer Questionnaire
After getting some background information, performing a conflict check, and determining the availability of our divorce lawyers for legal representation, we’ve found it helpful to ask a very direct, but simple question:
What do You Want?
Frankly, it does almost no one any good if we don’t discuss your expectations. That’s a true for the person seeking divorce as their divorce attorney.
This may come as a tremendous surprise to you. The majority of our clients don’t have an answer to the question.
In many instances, people thinking about separation and possibly divorce just want out. You may just want the pain to end. That’s understandable.
Indeed, sometimes people don’t truly ask themselves what they need. That applies to more things than just marriage. They buy houses and cars without considering their what’s realistic and appropriate.
Truth be told, a lot of people didn’t carefully analyze what they wanted out the relationship to start with, before getting married.
As such, we firmly believe the first step to getting divorced is asking some basic questions of yourself. This isn’t a graded test. If honest, all your answers are correct.
To that end our law firm uses a ½ dozen or more family law tools, depending on the type of marital relationship, to gather information and help direct you in answering the question: What is the best case, worst case scenario in my divorce?
Clearly, one size does not fit all.
The way we approach dissolving a 30-year marriage with grown children and substantial assets may be tremendously different than that of young professionals with little shared interests, no real property, and no children.
And as you might imagine, what is important to you and your relationship is unique. What someone else did in their divorce often has little or no relevance to what you’re facing.
Here’s some good advice: Don’t worry about what people will think, especially your lawyer. We’re here to help, not judge you. Start thinking about your long-term well-being, your goals in life after marriage, and the best ways to achieve those ends.
We think it makes sense to start big picture and gradually analyze our cases on a deeper level as we get an idea of you, your current relationship, and your individual needs.
“I call that starting with a satellite view and going granular. Let’s start with the big-ticket items like kids, marital status, and assets first.”
– Bill Powers, Divorce Lawyers Charlotte NC
What is the nature or type of your legal issue?
- Are you legally married?
- Are you separated?
- Do you have children?
- Do you work?
- Do you need support?
- Do you own a home?
What is the Level of Urgency?
Have things developed to such extent that you fear for yourself or the well-being of your children?
Are you involved in an abusive relationship? Do you need legal help on an emergency basis? Are you seeking a DVPO Domestic Violence Protection Order? Is there a pending 50B Order against you? Are there criminal charges for assault, assault on a female, or other DV issues?
Or, are you at the beginning stage of finding out your options and legal rights? Do you merely seek information to help make up your mind?
We encourage that.
Good life-decisions are often predicated on possessing all the facts.
- Is this an emergency requiring immediate action?
- Is your situation urgent that needs attention, but not on an emergency basis?
- Are your legal issues more accurately described as important, where you want to take steps to move forward but nothing is pressing?
- Do you just want to gather information and consider your options?
We’re here to help. Give Bill Powers a ring today to schedule a confidential office visit. Family law attorneys charge a consultation fee and hourly rates.